HANGOVER

What you see is what you get… if only that were true…. sigh.

Even the mirror lies sometimes.

Bangkok was a blast…. but the pain of being back and going through the motion over and over again. Guess, I should have nothing to complain about but what’s the point of having a blog if you can’t bitch about something or someone.

For the past few days, I have been walking around wearing a painfully agreeable face. Trying hard to tolerate whatever life throws at me. Trying hard to hold on to the pieces of my sanity together with one hand whilst the other slowly letting go.

Thank god the week’s almost over.

I need the break.

But mostly I need to see my real self again!

TOMORROW

Tomorrow is a big day.

Sigh.

I guess, these are the times you wished you have someone. Silly me. BFs can’t protect one from uncertainties. In fact, Bfs are the source of most uncertanties and yet we can’t help but dream.

The dream and reality are so different and yet we dream. Sigh.

I guess, when you are willing to share a bed with someone and work through the snoring and farting, you can’t help but be deluded by their importance…… stupid as it may be.

First amongst equals ei?

OMG… what am I rambling about.

Yes, tomorrow is a big day. If it pans out…. everything will change or it might not? I can’t help but worry.

Yes, now would be nice to have strong shoulder to lean on.

We all need that sometimes.

RE-LIGHT MY FIRE!

I’m back.

I guess, I did miss writing despite my denials. There are only so much you can express on facebook.

I mean facebook is meant for people to be cute and look cute. Let’s call a spade a spade, shall we?

I guess, I am writing cos things aren’t so smooth in Pleasantville.

Am at a crossroad again. Opportunity knocks and undeniably, it’s time to move forward. Yet I find it so hard to say “yes” to something so logical?

Why is that?

I am really comfortable and happy where I am. It’s been a hard fought battle to be in this position. However, I am not sure if I can be this comfortable tomorrow yet I can’t seemed to let go of the comforts of today to fight for a new and probably better tomorrow.

Have I lost the fire in my eyes?

THE END

It has kept me sane through those lonely and sad nites.

But no point dwelling on something that has passed its use by date.

I still get weak but I will be ok.

Take care and have a good life.

GOODBYE

UNPLUG

I spent a couple of days reading the old stuff that I have written.

Mid 2005 was particularly sad and poignant. Sigh.

It's strange to read about oneself from a different time. I can hardly recognise the person that I was. It's like a third person looking in.

But make no mistake, those little reflections that I have penned have somehow made me a better and stronger person.

But I can feel the end coming near.

So very sad.

GUESS WHO GOT MOONCAKES THIS YEAR?

OMG, I got moon cakes this year. After 2 fucking long years!

Nice and recyclable packaging!

ONLY SIX????!!!!!

Absolutely heaven. Trust me!

And I didn't even have to send out reminders this year. But then again, I did nag for most part of last year?

Oh well.

I guess, it's not the moon cakes but the thought itself.

When someone knows what makes you happy and take the extra step to do just that, it's a totally wonderful feeling. Sigh...............

Oh did I mention it was KS?

Roll eyes.

BKK READY

Can’t believe that I am sick again. Coughing my ass off. So regular!

Notwithstanding, I had durian for supper throughout the weekend, I mean, I used to be able to take that shit unfazed.

And, BKK is only 4 days away! I need to be able pose and get laid. I like to think I am deeper that that, buy hey, I can be as superficial as the next guy, thank you very much.

I mean it’s BKK.

I know the city is pretty deep in culture and stuff but get real!