FLOATING

A wise friend of mine reminded me that “love” means different things to different individual, culture, race and whatever weird genetic make-up they come from.

So I have to keep a safe distance until I am sure.

I guess, “I love you” doesn’t really mean anything. It’s the action behind it.

And yet, we can’t help but be fascinated by the word “love”.

It’s the one word that means everything and yet no one really knows what it really means.

So I have to keep a safe distance until I am sure.

How far is safe?

TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVERS

Never in my life.

For the first time my heart is pulled into 2 different directions.

Don’t know how I got this careless?

As Fred succinctly puts it, “You just got too horny”.

Well, perhaps to a certain degree but I think, it’s more like I am really desperate for change and I am sorta running out of time?

Nothing has been confirmed yet, so technically, I am a free agent. Yet, I feel like a complete heel.

Maybe, I am looking at it from a conventional perspective. I am not trying to justify anything but all these years of being conventional hasn’t exactly brought me success? Being gay and conventional is like black and white. They just don’t mix without ending in tragedy.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t feel right. So I guess, it’s time for some back peddling.

Afterall, what is life without some comedy of errors.

Good luck with that.

DREAMING

My wish list…………sigh.

I guess, it’s complicated. I knew what I wanted a week ago and now that seemed like a distant memory.

I am enamored again. Oh well, it’s not new but a relapse. I guess, somethings you don’t forget so easily. Like it or not, he changed my taste in men.

So now, I dream yet again.

Now what?

SO WHY BOTHER?

It’s a tragedy in progress.

It’s sad yet it’s not? It’s painful yet it’s not? It’s there yet it’s not?

So should I or shouldn’t I?

I guess, it’s really nothing…yet.

So why bother?

SMITTEN

I went to the Sandy Lam concert with friends last night. I wasn’t a fan but now I have an urge to get her albums.

I am little bit smitten now.

Eight hours before that I said goodbye to someone I just met.

I am a bit smitten now.

I am going through some crazy moments.I am scared. Not because I think I am not good enough for him but because I fear that I am not good enough for what lies ahead.

It takes courage to start something. But it takes a bigger courage to finish something you started. Not everyone is capable of that. I am going through many changes now, within and without.

I am so unsure now. What if it doesn’t work out?

Yes, I am smitten.

MY LITTLE COUNT DOWN

Can’t believe 2009 is ending.

Such a life-changing year for me and a lot of my friends. Sigh.

My fav Christmas song was on just now. Yeap, Have Urself a Merry Little Christmas. The fav Christmas song for those with something broken inside.

It’s still tough at work but I am getting over it. I have to end the year knowing no matter how tough the situation is, the sun will be out one day.

I am riding on something positive now. It’s like I found my first bloom of spring. Sure there will be frosty nights and chilly days, but summer is just around the corner. I can feel it.

Oh well, I still have Janet to keep me smiling and I have Brandy to remind me of the silly tears I shed. Have I eva…. Haha.

I am dating again. It doesn’t matter how it ends, single or attached. It really doesn’t matter.

Happiness is happiness, no matter how you cut or slice it. No one can give you that. You have to keep on renewing it, otherwise it will expire on it’s own.

So I am back, where I started.

Waiting, watching and wanting. Not for someone but for the day, the sun smiles upon me again.

That day will be here soon.

Here’s to happiness, forever.

Cheers.

PATIENCE

She is not my favourite but somehow she always makes me smile.

That’s Janet for ya.

I am weaving my web right now. Itsy bitsy spider is going to get his due!

Come here U.

Yes U!

BAD DAY

Omg... what a horrific day!

I wonder why?

DATING

INTELLECTUAL VS BEEFCAKE?

I guess, score one point for intellectual.

There is boring and there is BOOOOOOOORING

Roll eyes.